Far East

The Crust

When you get to the end of the sandwich, you think back on how you thought it was going to be, and are more than a bit let down. It looked like the perfect sandwich: great ingredients, bread toasted just so, and the right mix of mayo and/or mustard. But as you gorge down that last bit of crust, you realize that it wasn't as good as you imagined it would be; you'll still be hungry in a couple of hours, and probably you should have skipped the sauerkraut. It's hard, nonetheless, to finish those last crumbs, you want to savor it and make it last just a little while longer. Sure, there will be other sandwiches, but you had such high hopes for this one. There are other sandwiches in the deli; maybe next time you'll go for a sub.

That's A Spicy Curry!

You know you just love a spicy curry. But getting it right (if you're making it yourself) is no mean feat. It has to have that essential curry-ness, that attitude that announces itself to your guts as you gorge it down. You don't want it to have too much attitude, though, or you'll be in and out of the bathroom. Buying a curry mix to assist you along is fine, doing it all fresh is preferred. Kind of like hot and sour soup (that's another subject entirely). You crave curry, the way it goes down so smoothly, yet you don't want to pay the price for making it. And in Taipei you have to go with what is available, which ain't much, truth be told. Yes, there are 'Indian restaurants' but they are really Chinese-Indian restaurants, much the same that Chinese restaurants in the States don't often serve authentic Chinese cuisine, except after hours, and only to the staff. Therein lies the rub: how to get a curry worthy of the name, without committing too much in the making. Better just get the mix; you can toss it out when you're done, no hassles and no mess.

Garrr!

Or as Rikku would say: "Whoopsie". Never, NEVER throw water on an oil fire. Take my word on this one. Had a semi-scary cooking incident earlier; was watching my free, legal dead shows downloading (I know, I need to get a life), and forgot the pan heating up on the stove. Added some oil, and then wham!, huge burst of flames. Natural response is to throw some water on it: very BAD idea. The flames finally went out without further intervention, and dinner was cooked shortly afterwards. No bad aftertaste, either. Good thing I don't have a smoke alarm. Phew! Now that would have been a hassle!

Half-Baked

One of the things I miss most about living in the States is the ability to bake. You rarely see ovens here, and if you do happen to find one, it's a really tiny affair. It's great to do stir-fry, very convenient and all, but there's nothing like making a thin crust pizza, or some homemade Chex mix. I'm eating some Kraft brand Chex mix as I right this post, and it tastes like those little silicon keep fresh bags they warn you not to eat. And the pizza here is either Domino's or Pizza Hut, in other words, crap. Now people can argue whether it's New York or Chicago-style pizza that's the best, but back in the day I could whip up some thin crust pizza that had most friends and relatives agreeing it was close to. or better than what local Chicago-area pizzerias had on offer. And being able to choose your own toppings, and not getting the generic 'seafood pizza', or 'five-meat stroke-inducing pizza' is a plus. Many Taiwanese are shocked (truly shocked) when I tell them that you can choose your own toppings at real pizza places. My fave has to be spinach, garlic, and black olive on whole wheat thin crust. As it's a holiday weekend (don't feel like cooking), I'm stuck with ordering the stroke inducer.

Real Fast Food

You get home late from work, and the last thing you want to do is to cook. So you pick up some crap from the local eatery and go to it. After a while, you feel run down, thus enforcing the whole system of being too tired to cook and eating a take-out. In fact it's not all that fast, and cooking doesn't take that much time. I got caught up in that awful loop, and was much the worse for the wear. I whipped something fresh up at home today, and kept an eye on the clock, to see how much extra time I actually spent doing it, instead of eating a take-out. The result: no real time difference. And the benefits of eating freshly cooked veggies stir-fried in a light oil are immeasurable. No heavy feeling in the pit of your gut, making you want to take a nap as soon as you've finished. And so much better tasting. In terms of time, from putting the rice on, cleaning the veggies, and cooking, it took a grand total of around 12 minutes. Granted, the rice took longer than that to cook, but I was off doing something else while the rice cooker was doing its thing. And I can heat up the leftovers for another couple of meals, so no time involved there, maybe a couple of minutes is all.

No Breakfast, No Cry

Taiwan doesn't have any decent breakfast, unless you want something fried in peanut oil, or really fatty. They have ham-bao, basically a fried pork patty on a bun, and something else call youtiao, which is a deep-fried stick of flour. You can also go for the dan-bing, a scrambled-egg-y like concoction, served on a kind of Chinese roll. All guaranteed to have you running for the antacid potion. That has changed with 7-11 rolling out its version of the Mcmuffin, either with tuna, or bacon and onions, both with cheese and a fried egg patty. A little grease, mostly offset by the English muffins. While eating so many eggs is sure to send your cholesterol levels soaring (not to mention those thickening arteries), at least it's breakfast appropriate fare.

Night Market Yummies

Take a tour of any of the night markets here and your senses will be assailed by the odours of some stuff you'd never find mom serving up for nosh. Apart from the lungs, intestines, brain, and fish heads, certain items do certainly stand out. My favorites have to be pig trotters, chicken claws, and chicken anuses. The chicken claws are the most fearsome looking of the bunch, like something you'd see from a witch's cauldron rather than your dinner table. You really have to look carefully for any actual meat, as they are mostly tendon and gristle. They're so popular that you can find them in certain bakeries as well. Never had the pleasure (?), though I'm told they're delicious. Don't see the point, really. Like ordering fish bones instead of the fillet.

Larval Pupae

This is one of those things you think to yourself: 'No way am I going to eat that!', but when you bite down into the small soft pocket-shaped pupae, you're pleasantly surprised. They're served raw, with a spicy hot and sour sauce, and are a favorite of the indigenous peoples here. Apparently some folks like to eat them live, though I'm not sure how you distinguish between the two. I tried asking the vendor what they were pupae of, but he didn't quite understand my Mandarin. Probably better not to know. They're small and light enough that they'd be perfect for stocking stuffers! I know, it's not even Thanksgiving and already thinking of Christmas. Just looking ahead is all. I wonder if the live ones squirm when you bite into them.